Launceston's Dickhead Saga: March 2010

The first week in March turned out to be ‘Mea Culpa Week’ in Australia as it started out with Prime Minister Rudd fessing up to his inadequacies and short falls. In true Dickhead fashion he proceeded to re-offend throughout the week – presumably so as he would have material for a future event. Well that was Sunday.

Then comes that Monday in Launceston that from this day forward will be known as, and celebrated as, Launceston’s Dickhead Day (the first Monday in March) with the first week in March being Dickhead Week in Launceston. What is more, from this day forward in Launceston “Dickhead” will forever be a Proper Noun and embedded in the Launcestonian lexicon.

The story goes that an Alderman at a City Council meeting was behaving, well let's say, in a way that was not being appreciated by the others – or in truth, a lot of others – and one made a special attempt to draw attention to this Alderman's 'unappreciated attitude'.

To cut to the chase the latter interjected and called the former a "Dickhead" out loud albeit disguised in the midst of the shouts of outraged Aldermen ranting against the former. For some strange reason the Mayor did not hear the remark. It has been said that he, the Mayor, was paying way too much attention the interjection that sparked the muffled remark in the midst the flare-up of counter-interjections around the table.

The Alderman who brought all this upon himself protested bitterly but nobody seemed to hear who had called him a Dickhead – which by the way was not the name his parents gave him. There was all kinds of commentary about:

• The need for an apology or not;
• The extent to which the name was appropriate under the circumstances;
• Whether or not an ego could/should be wounded.

Then the debate began as to whether or not Dickhead was a 'swear word' or a colloquialism and on and on and on. Clearly it was an appropriate colloquialism even if, sadly, its not the kind explicit vocabulary sanctioned in Council meetings – and now apparently by The Examiner that can only bring itself to euphemise its spelling to "d...head".

So it is official, from now on in Launceston the first Monday in March anyone can call anyone a "Dickhead" anywhere in Launceston and at anytime of the day without damaging their ego. The proof is in and is acclaimed as so by the subject of the interjection.

Sadly, the Launceston press is very likely to continue to ignore it as it has done right up until now. Why? Well there would be the risk that, or the almost certainty that, the staff there would be called the Dickheads they have proved themselves to be this last week in Launceston. It seems that they couldn’t stand the heat even if all bets were off. Largely, they were able to dodge the innuendo this week but perhaps they’ll not be so lucky in future.

The thing is when you let your readers comment they say outrageous things. Albeit moderated comment, it turns out that the Alderman who was calling it as he saw it had an awful lot of empathisers out there in the community. Brian, quoted that past master of the mixed metaphor, Joh Bjelke Petersen, who said, “if you fly with the crows, squawk like a crow and look like a crow, [you can’t complain when you get shot like a crow.] “ A point well made!

Which brings the journo into the frame. When the Alderman was “feeding the chooks” he only managed to take a crumb away – the least consequential one. Joh wold have loved him as all his followers still will.

Thanks to him, the journo, Launceston is now able to celebrate Dickhead Day on the first Monday in March.

LINKS
• The lyrics to the Dickhead’s Anthem
• The Examiner's Dickhead Thread
• The original Examiner Dickhead Story
• The Examiner searches for an apology with comments

List of Albermen
Mayor Albert van Zetten
Deputy Mayor Alderman Frank Nott
Alderman Ivan Dean
Alderman Annette Waddle
Alderman Tony Peck
Alderman Robin McKendrick
Alderman Ted Sands
Alderman Rosemary Armitage
Alderman Jeremy Ball
Alderman Ray Shipp
Alderman Ian Norton
Alderman Rob Soward